Always Second

Always second
Sitting, waiting, expecting, anticipating, hoping, longing, desiring
Always second
Wanting, needing, urning, burning in my heart, crying
Always second
Noticed yet unnoticed, important but unimportant, needed but not needed
Always second
Not sure how to change it, have been trying to but have unsucceded
Always second
Wondering, waiting, trying to hard, not trying enough
Always second
Hoping, filled with doubt, feeling the urgancy, desire burning deeper
Always second
Being selfish, wanting to feel the excitement, passion
Always second
What do others have to offer what am I not offering, doubting, lonliness
Always second
Music, job, kids, life, family, video games, hobbies
Always second
Hopelessly seeking approval, trying to be noticed, endless race to push through the curtain of his soul
Always second
Remembering the past, the fire in his eyes, the passion in his soul, the tenderness of his touch
I was first
The longing to see me, to feel me, the smile, the hello
I was first
The excitement, the anticipation, the long conversations, no distractions
I was first
The beginning, the babies, the job, life, family, video games, hobbies, music
I was first
Always noticed, no waiting, always important, no wondering
I WAS first
As time has slipped by, age has settled in, knowing I will always be there
I am no longer first
Always second